who am i?
by an anonymous mk

when i was growing up, adults always asked me what i was going to be, but there came a time when what i was going to be wasn't as important as who i was. everyone questions who they are, and mks are no exception.

who is an mk? i am a combination of two cultures. i am neither, and i am both. i am the brat who throws a temper tantrum and refuses to dress native for the american church.

i am the 6-year-old who can't wait to go away to schol, and i am the 6-year-old who cries herself to sleep the first two weeks of school.

i am the one who complained about eating oatmeal every day of my life, and i am the one who orders oatmeal at the restaurant for old times' sake.

i am the one who desperately worries about fitting in, and i am the one who wears my native wrap around the college dorm and doesn't care what anyone thinks.

i'm the one who has lived under strict school rules, and i'm the one who returns to america and questions what my real values are. i am the one the churches make a saint out of and the one other people pity and laugh at.

i'm the one who traveled halfway around the world before i was 4, and i'm the one who has no home.

i am the one who promises to write but never does because it's too difficult to deal with the reality of separation. i am the one who has seen the devil dancers, and i am the one who has seen the rock concerts.

i'm the one who knows and understands world missions, life and death, heaven and hell. i am the one who has seen God work miracles. i am the one who knows prayer works, and i am the one who sometimes finds it difficult to pray.

i'm the one who has learned to live with a politically unstable government, and i'm the one who waits impatiently by the phone for news that everything is safe. i am the one who has spent only three months a year at home. yet i know, beyond question, that my parents are the best in the whole world. i am the one who speaks two languages, but can't spell in either. i'm the one who has devotions from a french Bible.

i'm the one who wears a thousand masks--one for each day and time. i am the one who learned to be all i'm expected to be but still not sure of who i really am.

i am the one who chooses my college by where my friends are because nobody understands an mk like another mk.

i am the one who laughs and cries, sings and prays, gets angry and doubts, fears and questions, expects and receives, hopes and dreams. but i am one who cares.